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Well, it’s almost that time of year again, and it comes around so fast, doesn’t it? As a separated couple, it can be hard for the kids. But from keeping it amicable to embracing some child-free time, you can make it an easier Christmas for children of divorce at your home this year.
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Don’t Turn it into a Competition
It’s often the case that parents play off against each other after a divorce. Many kids can be put in a bad position when you do this, as they may feel like they have to be more loyal to one or the other. And Christmas is a perfect time to do this if you are irresponsible that way. Family lawyers would always advise that you keep things simple and buy what you can afford. After all, not having a partner means vastly reduced income, and explaining this to the kids always helps.
Invite Your Ex if Things are Amicable
A divorce is often messy and bitter. But not always. Some are agreeable, and even the worst divorces can calm down after a while. For the sake of the children, especially younger ones, it can be a great idea to invite your ex around to see them open their gifts or join you for dinner. Of course, great care must be taken to stay amicable. And always explain that this doesn’t mean you are getting back together. Just seeing both parents getting along is much easier on the kids.
Alternate Christmas for Children of Divorce
If you can’t stand to spend Christmas with your ex or there are geographical differences, it can be much easier, and advised by most courts, to alternate each Christmas. For example, this year, they spend Christmas with you and next year with your ex. This is a very fair way of doing things and removes some of the awkwardness of it all. Additionally, the kids will also get to spend time with relatives and grandparents. You can spend the time alone or visit your family too.
Be Careful About New Partners
It is only inevitable and human that you will meet someone new. And this needs to be handled delicately with the kids. Christmas can be a great time for the kids to get to know a new partner, but only if you feel they are ready. It can also help to discuss this with your ex, too, as they may not approve, and this must be considered. Much in the same way, you should also consider agreeing or objecting to their new partner. But of course, it helps to have a genuine reason.
Embrace Child-Free Time
Maybe more for you, but having the kids spend time with your ex gives you some free time. After all, Christmas is for you too. Over 60% of people surveyed stated they want some “metime”. So knowing the kids are happy and safe with your ex means you can enjoy some free time. Take a hot bath, get comfy and watch the snowfall. Whatever it is, get some me-time in before the kids come back, and everything is hectic again and you’re back to doing laundry and tidying up.
Summary
Trying not to be competitive makes an easier Christmas for children of divorce. You can also alternate each year with your ex and enjoy yourself while the kids are not there on the day.
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