Dating is, at the best of times, daunting. When you were young it was full of worries like would he call when he said he would. You would spend hours doodling your names in fancy hearts. Now older and somewhat wiser it’s not any easier. Granted I have gone past the doodling phase as I do not have enough time on my hands for that. And if he doesn’t call when he said he would, my mindset is now at a resilient stuff him.
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But my worries now are on a completely different ball game. I have the two children and after several failed relationships, I have learned not to introduce the polar opposites together. Children, though, are a great asset when you are not sure on someone. They invisibly have that gut feeling, plain-talking ability to reduce a grown man to a one-inch standing.
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So with my new rule of no introductions, while I tackle the universe’s supply of men, I have the task to date almost secretly. Granted it gives an edge to it but at 38 should I really be bundling some poor unsuspecting man out the back door as the children march in the front door early with their father in tow? The days my children go their father, they always inquire what I will be up to. Just in case it has better sweets or present odds than their current plan. I always have a list of suitably boring chores ready. This year alone the children think I have had a good housework blitz more times than hot dinners. Been to see every elderly relative in living memory. Not to mention the shopping trips to find something so specific I know it will never exist. It is no wonder I overheard my daughter tells one of her friends that I am really boring and all I do is housework and talk to old people. You have to take into account also that when they are away and I am up to mischief, as my mother would call it, that the housework is not getting done. So the secret to it all is speed cleaning five minutes before the children ceremonially arrive back home.
So where do single parents find each other? Well, there is the normal route of blind dates by well-meaning friends. These I do not take too seriously and consider them research time. I get to try restaurants that might be of use at a later date. I get to practice social skills like a conversation ( do not laugh but it is worrying how many people do not possess these skills) It’s also a good excuse to buy a new outfit.
There are the dating sites but they try my patience an awful lot and I do not like to go down that route. I have done in the past, though. Keep your wits about you. Just because you’re being honest and genuine doesn’t mean the person on the other side of the screen is. If you do decide to meet them, make sure someone knows where you are. Oh, and try to pick a meeting place that you know has a mobile signal. I did not once and was faced with a friend rushing into the restaurant yelling “your alive” to a room full of spectators and all because I had not answered my phone.
The best place is supermarkets. You can tell so much from their basket contents. So next time you just pop to the supermarket for milk remember to at least brush your hair and look semi-decent.
dating in the real world 1
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