Dear Comment Spammers

Dear Comment Spammer

It is lovely that you took the time out of your busy schedule to visit my site. Oh, wait you probably did it by some computer bot and think it’s rather clever and nifty. Let’s have a look at this a second and we may work out where you went wrong.

You start by calling me, webmaster or mate. Now if you were a real person you would take the time to figure out my name. It’s not that heard I promise you, it’s on every sodding post.

You then proceed to tell me how long you have been looking for that information and so glad you found it. Really? Have You been looking for ages to see if my cat had died? Again if it was a   genuine comment maybe you would be a bit more precise instead of just using the term ‘information’.

or

You try the one-word wonder. A comment with just one word is hardly inspiring or exciting and 10/10 times irrelevant.

or

You just waffle for a couple of sentences just utter rubbish that just proves how deranged and ill-informed you are on the whole comment/link back thing.

Sometimes you ‘scatter’ your comment with links to …well lets put this in a nice way….sites I wouldn’t visit. I’m a single mum, it’s not a secret as it’s in the blog name. Now in my day, and I believe it’s still true to this day, Mum is the word for a parent that is female. So seeing as I am female do you really think I want to look, go or even be connected to sites that are for the males of this world. I’m not even going to ask if you have the medical credentials to back up your ‘enlargement’ claims.

There are the odd occasion the, so called, comment is so long it makes War and Peace look like a lunch time read.

And then you decide that the way to win my heart is to submit the same comment lots of time. Trust me, it’s not the way to my heart.

All this time and energy you put into all these spam comments confuses me. I guess you are doing it to either get the link back or to entice me to your site.?  I can say and  I can probably guarantee that all the above is the exact reason that I won’t approve your comment so that you get the link back nor will I visit your site. Oh and the fact that your site/link is utter crap.

 

Myth No1 – It’s not clever or nifty to use a bot to make comments.

Myth No2 – Not everyone on the internet is called webmaster – some go by their actually names You know, the ones we use in the real world.

Myth No3 – Not every pre-written comment fits in with all posts.

Myth No4 – No need to make your comment is reallllyyyy long, we can tell by the end of the first sentence its spam. Save your fingers.

Myth No5 – Submitting the same comment 100’s times doesn’t get it approved.

Myth No6 – Not all bloggers are daft, stupid or into shady things. Some will see your comment for what it is and just delete it without it ever seeing the light of day.