When my doctor diagnosed me as having M.E I cried. Not because I had M.E but because I was no longer a mum who was just always ill but a mum who had something to look up, learn about and understand. Having that starting point made it easier to tell my children what was actually wrong with me.
The actual steps of telling my children was made easier by the fact they are both young teens and live with a mobile phone permanently glued to them. They had a firm understanding of the battery life of their beloved phones. So I explained that they had the energy and resources of a mobile phone battery when it’s new. When at 4 bars (fully charged) they can do all the things they want to and only dip into 3 bars and then quickly go back up to 4 bars because they have the 3 bars working to carry on day to day things as they top up to fully charged. I then explained that I live on 1 bar. They knew all too well that when there mobiles are on 1 bar they can’t do much with the phone and have to reserve that one bar in case they need it. Living with one bar they understood that if I did too much I would quickly have no bars and would take longer just to regain that 1 bar and whilst I was trying gain the 1 bar there wasn’t a lot else I could do.
It has taken a bit of time to learn what I can and can’t do with my 1 bar but the children understand. Another thing that helped was being open, honest and talking about M.E it gave them the confidence to talk to their friends too about it. My daughter discovered she had two other friends who mum’s have M.E. This has given her reassurance that she isn’t the only child with a parent with M.E and she can talk to them about it too.
There have been two positives that have come through having M.E. The first was I had to downsize my job. I went from full time to self employed so that I could work from home when I could. Less money meant smaller house and smaller lifestyle. The children encouraged the change as they knew it would make it easier for me so would mean a happier mum and would also mean I was home more which meant happier children. They have learnt that life isn’t always about money; it isn’t always about chasing promotions (it was the stress from my job that brought on the M.E) us three as a family are now happier with having less. The children are doing their options at school and its quiet timely that they have learnt that a job isn’t always about what earns the most but doing something you enjoy the most. Secondly we spend more time together especially in the evenings. Instead of me working in the evenings we spend more time being together. They help with shopping, cooking and housework when I can’t do it on my own, so they are learning things like being less self focused and that food doesn’t cook its self.
What a great idea to get it through on a teens perspective! I have ever used that but my boys are quite understanding and help me out a lot! I have just recently started an M.E page on my blog so I can talk about it, share with others and offer tips that help me. I will be interested in any ideas you have that help you through the day 🙂
I first went ill with ME in 1992. My son was 10 years old. The next eight years I was bedridden for 2 years and housebound for 3 years. My son was incredible, he coped with the house being a mess and his mum having a dreadful awful struggle to prove she really was ill.
I was a fulltime working single mum, with bags of energy for life before I caught ME. I loved my work. It all came to a screeching halt.
After a LOT of research, and FANTASTIC support from friends I accepted I had a longterm illness, Social Services helped me get out of the pit of life of debt bills and inability to function. They did not try and take my child away, which was my biggest fear, instead they supported me and sorted out my life for me. One particular social services lady took up my cause, and without her I would have ended up with my head in an electric oven !!!!
I called in the newspapers, once even getting on the front page, in an effort to raise awareness about ME. Whilst doing this I was stunned by the number of people with ME in Cornwall, I started collecting names, but it got so many I could not keep it up. However, rarely a week goes by that I do not hear of someone else having it.
Our only specialist in Cornwall retired last year, once again, we are left with no specialist advice, and my treatment is now getting out of control as the medication I take is no longer produced !!!!!
My heart goes out to everyone who is touched by it, and if anyone needs a discreet totally trustworthy house/pet sitter I am available.
I am a Reflexologist, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Colour and Light Therapist and Flower Essences Practitioner and have been practicing for over 20 years. My take on ME is: at some point in your life you have overdone things and your body and mind are exhausted which leaves you as you well know, with very little or no energy to do your everyday chores let alone the nice things in life.
Understanding why you have ME is half way to healing yourself because there are answers within you which you can access and improve the way you feel. Clinical Hypnotherapy and Colour and Light Therapy are two such ways that can help you to access that information and give you the energy you seek, and yes you are right when you say stress from the job caused the problem in the first place, but the question now is ‘Why are you still feeling that way now, now that you’ve changed your job and have moved on?’
All the answers lie in your subconscious and accessing those thoughts will help you to feel so much better and empower you again, instead of giving your energy away to a person or organization.
I hope this helps you with your health and healing.
Many blessings.