Having Parents That Are Separated
A few weeks ago my 14 year old daughter wrote me a note. I was so touched it made it on to Confessions of a Single Mum. You can read her note here. I had her permission to post it up and I think she got the bug as she asked if she could write something for the my site. I gave her a few suggests and she decided on writing what it is like having parents that are separated.
I think it has brought home to me that sometimes as a single mum I can forget that they of course having feelings and views on it all. So here it is without any editing or any input from me. I need to remind myself that my children are processing their emotions and perspectives too, just like I am. It’s crucial for me to recognize that mothers and their nurturing roles extend beyond just providing care; they also involve understanding and validating the feelings of our children. By fostering open communication, I can create an environment where we all feel heard and supported in our experiences.
“Sometimes it’s good to have separated parents if you look at the advantages. Two rooms, two lots of Christmas and birthday presents. Once I even had two teas. It’s nice because you have the parent you can go to if your ever worried or need help and you have the other parent who can take you out. In addition to the perks of having separated parents, programs like new deal support for lone parents can make a significant difference. They provide resources and assistance that can help single parents manage their responsibilities more effectively. This support can create an even more positive environment for children, ensuring they feel secure and loved by both parents.
On the other hand it can be tricky trying to keep each parent happy not trying to disappoint them. You might forget school books; you might leave them at the other house and need them the next day. The hardest one I find is wishing they were together. When I to my friends house who has parents still together, they all look one big happy family. I will never know what that feels like as I was too young to remember.
So there are my advantages and disadvantages of having separated parents.”
That’s very heartfelt, and brings some that we, as separated parents often forget that our children have strong views on the situation.
Your daughter sounds lovely, and very grounded for a 14yo.
What a mature way of looking at things, and so true aswell. She sounds like an old head on young shoulders. Its good that she felt able to share with you the downsides aswell as the plus points. x