There are lots of things people don’t warn you off when you have a baby like you will be either physically or mentally drained for about the next 20 years. Or that nothing prepares you for that awful feeling like no other when your child is first ill. The other bits no one prepares you for is the milestones. You start to feel a bit old when they start school. Then a lot older when they move to primary school. You watch in disbelief as your mild-mannered child develops a new attitude. One that tests those invisible lines in the ground. I don’t mean in a I want sweets/tantrum sort of way. In a ‘well so and so is wearing eyeliner and I am the same age’ or the ‘I need a bra’ kind of way ( this will mean so much more to you if you have daughters) . Why do they have to grow up so quick. Can’t they just stop please. Then before you know it your prom dress shopping which really means you need to talk to your bank manager . You get through the prom day with tears of pride and ‘oh my god I am so old’ being gulped back and you think your safe for a few years.
Your not. It then happens like it did to me a few weeks ago. They turn 18. (Dramatic pause for sharp intake of breath) Like how on earth did that happen. They were only learning to walk yesterday. I was only laughing at them waddling up the garden in their wellies and nappy a few hours ago. 18? Are we really sure on this……mentally counts from their birth date …its true they are 18.
It was only when twitter friend Violet also had a teen turn 18 too that I realized I had accomplished something rather short of a miracle. (Psst if you’re a tweeter and want to follow someone who is as mad as a box of dead frogs she’s your gal. Complete fruit loop and scares the life out of me but rather lovely in a bootalicous way.
The Teen turns 18 today and I have officially succeeded in raising an adult. Don’t look so surprised. I’m assuming I get my medal now?
— Violet Fenn (@violetfenn) September 30, 2014
I am rather amazed at myself that I, myself , little old me, and of course some help from her Dad, have raised a fully fledged adult. No major problems, 2 minor A&E moments and 1 hospital stay along the way. Not bad really.This does come with new territory though. She wants to do 18-year-old things because ‘I am 18 now’. She wants to buy alcohol because ‘I am 18 now ‘ not that overly found of it. Though that will be changing as she had her first proper night out ‘cos I am 18 now’ ( complete with puking I can delightfully add) . How have I managed to raise a fairly sensible adult? How have a I reached the age to have an adult child.
I don’t want to hear ‘I am 18 now’ anymore as every time its like she is yelling that I, her mother, am indeed old and over the hill.
Oh how I hear you. I’ve managed to accomplish this no mean feat three times now. But one of the hardest things I’ve found, is allowing my fully fledged adult children to stretch their own wings and be independent. You think when they are all grown up you stop worrying so much. The truth is that it get’s worse. lol
When they are small all you want to do is protect them. Once they become adults there is a feeling of helplessness, because you know your words of caution about not driving too fast, or not drinking too much when they go out with their friends, goes in one ear and out of the other. Yes for me the hardest part was seeing them make their own mistakes and falling down. I guess all we can do is be there for them. Wipe the tears when they get hurt, make mistakes and learn the consequences of poor choices. And hope we’ve given them enough of a foundation to learn to fly well on their own. But I’d not change any of it for the world. Hey, wait till your Grandchildren start coming along. Then you’ll feel old lol