To me the word Mum was short for Mummy. According to the dictionary it is an informal word for mother. It also means keeping information to oneself and its a strong beer or ale from Germany. The meaning of Mum can be different to each person though. Some think of it in an endearing way, to some it may set their teeth on edge and others think of a motherly type figure surrounded by children. I suspect my teen, and at some point most of the world’s population of teens, think Mum stands for Mainly Utterly Mortifying.
If you told me 10, 5 or even 2 years ago that my own child would look on me as mainly utterly mortifying I would gasp in horror. No not my little angel who would crawl up on to my lap for cuddles (obviously a long time ago) or the sweet child who would draw me hundreds of pictures covered in kisses for mummy. Alas yes that same child will be 16 years old this year and I am no longer cool. Not that I was up there with all the other cool mothers. You know the ones your children go on about with a wistful ‘I wish you were more like them’ sought of tone. But at least she would walk through town with me.
I have tried to think what has changed. Was there something I did or didn’t do that expelled me from the cool club? I haven’t suddenly grown two heads or lost all my social skills. Nor have I started dressing like hippie or a bag lady. I even have really good days when I manage to brush my hair and apply makeup but this hasn’t redeemed me back into the cool club.
Over Christmas I think I found out why. On New Year’s Eve we had friends over, one friend being in their 50’s. (I would like to point out that this is not my age. I am still just 40…but only just and not for much longer) Said friend was quietly bopping away to the back ground music, the top 40. Teen thought this was funny and brilliant. If I do it – apparently its not.
So it’s not an age thing either so I can only come to one conclusion – Im not cool simply because I am her mum!
I have asked other mums if they went though the same with their teens and all came back with a resounding yes. I also asked if they were ever allowed back into the cool club. I can happily report that for most they were allowed back in and now bask in the lovely glow of being cool but a few did say they are still waiting.
I came here via your tweet – not been before – great post and I remember being THAT teen x
I must admit I held my breath halfway through your post, being a (slightly) older mum. My teen changes her mind about how cool I am, it changes roughly around the time when she needs some more money!
One of my 11 year old twin boys certainly views me as a Mainly Utterly Mortifying, as with the other I can do no wrong. Whatever they think of you, I find, you never change how you think about them – that’s what being a mum is.
My son went to big school this year. He looked so grown up in his uniform of blazer and tie. It was a big deal all round, mainly because he had to catch a bus to town (we live in the middle of nowhere).
I walked him down the lane and waited for the bus. As he waved happily from the bus as it disappeared from view, I found myself tearfully running after the bus, waving and shouting, ‘I love you, baby! OOOPS!!
Definitely a M.U.M moment!