Online Dating Interview – Meg

 

Today’s brilliant online dating interview is with Meg.

How long have you been trying online dating?

I’ve been using online dating sites for about two months with very mixed results.

What made you try online dating?

I’m a single mum and online dating looked like a good way of meeting new guys in my area. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

What made you try the dating site/s you chose?

I signed up for a few sites; I chose them because they were free. Many sites require you to sign up for a monthly fee then don’t have any people in my area or restrict features so you have to upgrade.

What features did you like about the dating site/s you used?

They all offer roughly the same services; as long as I can send and receive messages I’m happy.

How many dates have you gone on from online dating?

*names have been changed to protect the idiotic

I’ve met a couple of guys; *whiffle-ball and *Mr Brightside, both stand out for quite the wrong reasons.

I’d met whiffle-ball online and I’d liked him immediately, he was funny, sweet, kind and considerate, best of all he lived not far from me. He was a bit older than me and his profile picture wasn’t very flattering but I decided to go for it. After a week or two of chatting I took the plunge and asked him out to lunch, he agreed and a date was set.

We arranged to meet at my favourite restaurant. I arrived early and Whiffle-ball was late. We took a seat and ordered our lunch and he started talking, boy was he dull, he talked about his expensive car loudly and at great length for two hours. I didn’t get a word in edgeways the whole time. I don’t know whether he was nervous or just assumed that an expensive car would impress, (it doesn’t.) The best thing that could be said for the experience was that I got a very nice free lunch. We haven’t spoken since.

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I met Mr Brightside in my local park as we both have dogs. He failed to mention that he was married, visually impaired, aged 50 plus, (not 39 as he claimed to be) and was a compulsive liar. He tried to message me a few times after that but I blocked him.

Have you had any odd experiences on the online dating sites?

I’ve met a lot of very odd people, I’m thinking about writing a novel about my experiences. The strangest so far are Mr Cross-Dresser and the Pervert.

Mr Cross-dresser was very sweet but he was not for me. He wanted a Dom (as in a sub/Dom.) I directed him to a specialized website and he messaged me to say he’d joined up, I presume he found what he needed as I’ve not heard from him since.

The Pervert was just that, we exchanged a few messages and then he sent me a list of the things he liked, some of which were illegal, most of which were ridiculous and some of which were quite revolting. I came to the conclusion that he was either 12 years old or had been watching far too much improbable internet porn.

I have been messaged by a lot of guys wanting to be my sub (submissive) or my slave or my naughty {insert whatever here} I have no idea why. I direct them, politely, to one of the more specialized websites which will cater to their specific kinks. It doesn’t bother me at all, in fact it makes me laugh, and it’s given me a fascinating insight into the male psyche.

Have you met anyone special?

No, well kind of, quite by accident I spotted a picture of an old friend on one of the dating sites, we’ve been bumping into each other a lot lately; he’s single and lives near me.

So can we say this is a ‘Happy Ending’?

I’m very happy that I’ve re-connected with my friend. As to online dating, I’ll keep on looking around but my expectations are very, very low.

Lastly what advice would you give to anyone thinking about trying online dating?

I think this just about covers it, I wrote this as a blog post:

Dear men on dating sites,

Please to be writing English as she is spoken, me no understand text speak and I (first person singular) is always capitalised. It says quite clearly on my bio that I am a writer therefore I am very likely to have a pole up my bum about grammar and spelling.

I do not require a Sub or a Slave, nor do I want to be a sub or a slave, Fetlife is four doors down on the right, I also do not wish to be your naughty anything, again, Feltlife is four doors down on the right.

You’re married, engaged, in an open relationship? Great, now bugger off out of my inbox and go and buy your partner dinner and a bunch of flowers. You don’t deserve her and I don’t want you.

You’re 18 and able to provide some sexy fun *vomit* no, no you can’t, you know nothing about women (judging from your English and your garbled message) listen pal, you’re only few years older than my son, you’re a kid, go outside and play on your skateboard or play Black Ops or something, just get your track suited, spotty butt out of my inbox.

Go on, shoo, go, go out and play.

Yes, I am single for the 15th time of asking, with the caveat that I have a teenaged son (with all the problems that brings) and an ass-hat of an ex who lives not very far away and likes to make trouble. When all hell breaks lose I just can’t dump everything and be sexy, flirtatious, witty and gorgeous, when I feel like crud and my head is in pieces.