Every year hundreds of children face the worry and stress that comes from divorcing parents. They will cope with it better or worse based on their age, confidence, personality and even gender. Another significant factor in how they cope is to do with the way the separation is discussed, and the atmosphere that surrounds it. Divorce is always going to be difficult for children, but there are a few things that can be done to make it a bit easier on them.
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Encourage open and honest discussion
Talk to your child and explain what is going on, and ask them to discuss their concerns with you in return. They don’t need the gory details, but it’s a good idea to keep them up to date on legal progression and living situations. It’s their life too, so they deserve to know how it’s going to be affected.
Keep conflict away from the kids
Your children don’t need to see their parents arguing. You and your ex-partner might have a lot of justified hard feelings towards each other, but it makes it hard on children to hear arguments and shouting. Children have a propensity to blame themselves for divorces, so it’s best to let them think everything is still cordial between their parents.
Don’t bad mouth the other parent
On the same vein, when you’re alone with your child, don’t bad mouth the other parent. It creates conflicting emotions for the child, and it will ultimately get back to your ex-partner. While they’re struggling to come to terms with a change in their home life, they don’t need to feel like they’re stuck in the middle of two warring factions as well.
Minimise disruption
Try to keep your kid’s home life as similar as it was before the divorce. Massive changes in routine can be very jarring, so if you can make them feel as though nothing has changed it is likely to be a smoother transition.
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Seek professional legal advice
You’ll need the support of a legal professional to ensure the best thing for your child comes out of the proceedings. It’s good to choose a law firm that is specific to your local area. For example, for family legal advice bhplaw.co.uk can provide family solicitors in Newcastle.
Keep negativity out of the home
It’s likely that you’re experiencing a lot of upset and frustration at this time, but your child is not your counsellor. Lean on family, friends and professionals, not your unhappy child. You will want to keep your home as positive as you can, with opportunities for discussion and explanation, as well as cuddles. Keep the information that you pass to your child as unbiased as possible – they will ultimately have more respect for you as a result.
Divorce is such a difficult time for everyone involved, but it can be especially tough on a child who isn’t quite old enough to understand it yet. Remember that both parents need to keep the cuddles and kisses in high supply, and you’ll all be okay.
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