This isn’t as good as it gets there is so much more to it all now

It’s a life learning thing that your merrily skipping along in life and you’re thrown a curve ball. Even if you are expecting it, it can still be a hell of a shock. Lots of emotions follow from euphoric happiness to hatred with hundreds in between. Curve balls knock the life out of you, literally, but sometimes that it was you need to get you to relook at your life and ask yourself ‘what do you want now’.

How often, when you are ticking by on this life journey stuff, do you stop and question what you are doing? I mean really question it objectively. Life is way too short to be living it for someone else or how you think people want you to live it. Are you ridiculously happy about every part of your life? If there is even a pause in your answer you really owe it to yourself to do a life check.

I thought I was going to be living my life with M.E. and it was a great thought. Yes, there are lots of things I could still do but the thought that was all I had in my future was sickening. M.E had stopped me doing so many things and wasn’t letting me be the person I wanted to be. To get the news it wasn’t M.E all along but depression was like a black cloud clearing to reveal bright sunshine. It suddenly made my future very different. I can do whatever I want. I am not being held back by anything anymore. This

This isn’t as good as it gets there is so much more to it all now.

But like a kid who has just been plonked in a sweet shop and told to choose, I am slightly paralysed at what I want to do with my new shiny and very sparkly future. I want to do so much, I can do so much. I have fitness goals I am ticking off, I have weight loss goals that I am beating. I need to get some financial goals in there to make more of my dreams dont stay just dreams. I have renewed determination and I think I am tenacious enough to get what I want.

So onto my next soul searching – career – what do I want to do now, what do I want to be?